Asserting your boundaries

How can you express disagreement or refuse a request without backing down or attacking the other person?

1250 € per session, excl. VAT

In short

This half-day session of 3 hours provides an opportunity to practise making a request, setting a boundary and responding to an objection. Using fictional workplace situations, participants alternate between role play, observation and feedback to develop clear wording, adjust their approach and prepare to apply their learning at work.

Why this training?

Agreeing too quickly, offering too many justifications or reacting strongly can blur priorities and strain relationships. Assertiveness helps you make your constraints explicit while acknowledging those of the other person, without confusing respect with agreement. Knowing how to phrase something is not enough when the other person insists. Practice allows you to work on pace, tone, pauses and consistency of message, then try a different response after receiving specific feedback on the behaviours observed. Running case study: At Varnive Équipements, a fictional organisation, a coordinator receives an urgent request when two commitments have already been confirmed. She must clarify priorities with her manager, refuse an unrealistic deadline and respond to a colleague who insists on transferring a task to her. Application at work: Within seven days, choose a request to clarify or a boundary to set, prepare two ways of wording it and then have the conversation. Note the words used, the reaction observed and the adjustment you would like to make. If possible, seek factual feedback from a trusted colleague without sharing confidential information.

Objectives of this training

  • Distinguish an assertive response from a passive or aggressive response.
  • Formulate a precise request based on observable facts.
  • Express a refusal accompanied by an explicit boundary.
  • Respond to an objection without accusations or excessive justification.
  • Adjust your approach based on behavioural feedback.

Who is it for and what are the prerequisites?

Roles and tasks concerned

  • Employees facing competing requests or difficulties saying no.
  • Team leaders and coordinators who wish to express disagreement without escalation.

Prior skills

  • Be able to describe a workplace conversation in which setting a boundary was difficult.
  • Be willing to take part in role play and mutual observation in a respectful setting.

What you will work on

  1. Recognising your reactions under pressure

    Objective: Identify what causes you to become submissive or go on the attack. Differences between passivity, aggression and assertiveness; mutual rights; physical signs of tension.

  2. Constructing a request the other person can hear

    Objective: Express your need without implied reproach. Factual description, concrete consequence, need and negotiable request; first-person wording; listening and paraphrasing.

  3. Saying no and maintaining your boundary

    Objective: Maintain a respectful refusal in the face of insistence. Explicit refusal, brief explanation, realistic alternative; calm repetition of the message; distinction between negotiation and giving in.

  4. Conducting a complete conversation

    Objective: Apply the behaviours practised without guidance. Preparation of the intention, scope for negotiation and conclusion; identifying situations that require the conversation to be interrupted or appropriate support to be sought.

What you take away

  • Personal worksheet on reactions under pressure.
  • Template for requests and refusals tailored to the context.
  • Completed behavioural observation form.
  • Practice plan for a workplace conversation.

Method and assessment

  • Brief instructional input followed by simulations and role play based on the running case study.
  • Structured observation and peer feedback using a shared observation form.
  • Guided debrief: what worked, what will be adjusted, individual commitment.
  • Preparation: Prepare a fictional or anonymised situation: the request received, the constraint encountered and the response usually given. Identify a sentence you find difficult to say; use only materials and tools authorised by the organisation.

Observable criteria: The participant distinguishes facts from judgements about the other person. ; The request specifies an expected action and a deadline. ; The refusal states a clear boundary without belittling the other person. ; The response to insistence maintains the message while acknowledging the constraint expressed. ; The second round incorporates an observable adjustment based on the feedback..

Frequently asked questions

Do you have to describe a personal conflict?

No. Fictional cases allow you to work on the same behaviours without exposing a sensitive relationship.

Can you refuse a request from your manager?

The exercise trains you to make a constraint explicit and ask for a decision on priorities, taking your responsibilities into account.

What should you do if the other person becomes threatening?

Assertiveness is not a substitute for protection: interrupt the conversation if necessary and seek appropriate support.

How is progress assessed?

By observing wording and demeanour, then comparing the first and second rounds.

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